Richardson, party of 4

We are all adjusting well to our new larger family. Chasten has (understandably so) had some moments of acting out during this adjustment period. He loves Eloise and wants to kiss her all the time, it's usually Mike and I he isn't so sure about. In all honesty, I'd rather it be that way than the other way around.

Having a new baby in the house means I lose sleep. I expect that and am willing to do so for that sweet little girl. However, Eloise is doing great with her sleeping schedule and it seems, Mommy is not. She woke up to eat at 1:40, went back to sleep at 2 and I've been awake since. What does one do when lying awake for nearly three hours while anticipating the 20 and nearly 2 month olds that will inevitably be awake for the day in roughly two to three hours? Contemplate life of course...then get on facebook and then update your terribly neglected blog.

What did my contemplating lead me to? Lots of things. For one: I'm a terrible friend. Since Chasten's birth I've become consumed with being a Mommy, which isn't a bad thing...my children are my life and I love that, but I've allowed my other relationships to fall by the wayside. I've often thought of my old friends and been resentful that they don't want anything to do with me since I'm no fun now because I have kids. You know what? No one's ever said that to me. I've assumed that they must feel that way since they've stopped talking to me. You know what else? I've not done anything to reach out to them. Realizing that you are just as much to blame for something you've written off as someone else's fault isn't fun. Then you have to suck it up, put your big girl pants on and contact people to tell them it's your fault and that you're sorry. Then you wait because there's no rule that says your friends have to decide to rekindle your friendship now that you realized you've been insensitive to them.

You know what else I thought about? Religion. Of course, it's no big secret that I'm a Christian. Not everyone I know and love shares my beliefs. Sometimes that's hard for me to know how to respond to things. I don't mean it's hard because I want to force them to see my side. Arguing about religion is pointless and accomplishes nothing but making people angry with each other, which is counter-productive.  I mean I have to decide what is a good way to respond (if at all). Like today, a friend of mine posted on facebook about "zombie" Jesus in preparation for Easter. I've heard that before from several people. I don't find it funny, which is why I don't say it but I can't argue the importance of Easter to someone who doesn't believe in it (and I don't think I should). I believe God wants us to show His love rather than try and be "right." There is a way to witness to non-believers without condemning them. It's not my job, as a Christian, to walk up to someone and point out their sin (have you read the splinter vs plank in the eye example in the bible). I can't convict someone...that's God's job. I CAN make myself an example of someone who still sins every day but, by the grace of God's forgiveness, can be made clean. I CAN make sure that I'm living in accordance with the word of God so that others can see and know what a true Christian is. I CAN be accepting to everyone and show them God's love rather than preaching down their throats about what's wrong with them. Does this mean I have to support/condone other people's sin? No. This means I realize that other people's sin is none of my business. I have to be looking at myself and trusting that God can use me to reach other people by modeling myself after His Son. I'm not saying be a weinee...but I am saying that I want to be more like Jesus and less like His disciples. If you read the gospels you'll find the disciples told Jesus He shouldn't be hanging around with the people who were "immoral" but Jesus basically told them that you can't witness to someone by looking down your nose at them. Why would I want to align myself with the men who followed Jesus? I don't want to be like men. I want to love the world as Christ loves them. If this became the philosophy of more Christians (rather than "ram your sin down your throat"), we would be much more effective in the world.

It's funny the things you learn when you're sleep deprived for no good reason.